Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Chakra Locked

So, lately I've been preoccupied. I've been worrying about my job, money, possessions, & career path. I've been bogging myself down with things that don't matter and as a result my chakra has rebelled. I'm probably two incidents from compromising my whole chakra. As it stands, my root, heart, & crown chakras are fried. My solar plexus will probably be next. I just don't know what I want. I have no career path, no pressing needs, & no journey. There is nothing I need to do. I sit at a crossroads and have no compass. There is no voice whispering in my ear suggesting a direction. The winds of change no longer blow me away. This, my friends, is the crux of my problem. I am out of sync with the universe. I can no longer feel the dance of time or share in the blessings of the The Mother. I stand outside looking in. I have wants that disguise themselves as needs. I have no use for them but they batter at my senses. I cling to them because they are the last things I know in my swiftly changing world. I know money. I know possessions. I know greed frankly. Maybe I'm out of sync because I'm transitioning. I feel that as soon as I'm back in sync, I'll be a whole new me. There's a changing in my stars. Time to make it for the better.
---I do what I want

Friday, July 17, 2009

Cracking the whip

My muse has been cracking the whip on me with an alarming rate. He
shoves & pushes while I stubbornly dig my heels into the ground. I
want to write what he's telling me but I can't release it from pen to
paper. It like writing with a stick on a lake surface. I'm too tired
or stressed to write. Hell, I can't even write in my journal. There's
too much going on in my life & mind to find a channel for it all.
There's so many stories & plots fighting for their chance to get told.
I don't think I enough mental space or sanity to share them all.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Book Review

I have just finished The Bitten by L.A. Banks. It's book 4 of the Vampire Huntress series. I believe quite simply that it was beautifully written book. It kept and held my attention from beginning to end. I had Minion (book 1) for over a year before finally reading it. Something was stopping me from starting the series. As I got into it, I realized that I was feeling a lot like the main character at the time: hurt, upset, & losing that 1st love. So it makes sense while I veered from it mentally.
But I digress, I feel this is the best book in the series so far. The other books are going to have to work very, very hard to beat the pace of this book. It had everything: action, terror, suspense & passion. Just all in all, a beautiful read. Thank you, L.A. Banks!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A Poem

Usually I don't share my poems because I'm terrified of critism. It's the one place I retreat to when things get to tough for me. I have the urge to post this though because, well, it feels like an exorcism. So read it, absorb it, & be gentle with it.

In Love With H.I.M.

When it first started
All was young, fresh, & new
You had my heart &
I had yours
We took on the world with every breath
Our love never faltered & never
Dropped us

I only had eyes for you
Every beat of my heart was for you
Every kiss was a declaration
Every hug a celebration
My blood pumped with your strength

But like every fairy tale
We reached the end
I cried & screamed my pain to the sky
But you never stopped to listen
Yeah you did me wrong
But I inflicted hurt on you too
Give & take was all we ever were

Looking back I see where I went wrong
& where you fucked up
Even through the pain
I see the love that had grown &
Taken root
The greatest gift you gave was the ability for me
To realize that I had a whole lot of
Love to give & receive

Loving H.I.M. was a hard lesson to learn
But I stare at that diploma
& hope to get my masters.