These last few weeks have been a true eye-opener for me. I've been depressed, distraught, exhausted, and etc. I've questioned myself & my actions despite that I already had made concrete plans for my near future. For once in my life, I could not hinge my emotions on a significant other or relative. I had to answer to myself and make decisions solely for me.
I could make a decision and know that it only affected/benefitted me directly. I could be selfish and reckless and not care about the outcome. The experience has put me at a crossroads. For too long, I've fussed and complained because my actions benefitted me and not others.
I've sacrificed my sanity and dignity for my SOs but no longer. I will enjoy you while you are with me. I will cherish our times together but I will not put your feelings first. I gave you a heart to take care of and you have not treated it well. I will now care for it.
If I see fit, you will slowly get pieces of it back. If not, then we shall part ways.
On a new topic, I've made the decision to travel more. I continue to say how I will go places but never follow through. This will stop. I'm doing nothing but hampering my dreams by doing this. I start with Las Vegas in July and London in September. It's time I put my money where my mouth is.
Speaking of money, I've decided to make my certification work for me. I will devote as much spare time as I can into building up my wedding consulting business. It's time to stop running and grow up. I want a house, a family, and security. I WILL GET IT.
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"never green growin up but fadin never
this is what Id love to gain
free at last
free from all the pain and sorrow
never feel the hurt again"
Never stop- Brand New Heavies
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