Where in the world is Corsette?

I've been hiding. So much has happened to me in the last two months and I let it pull me down and under. I've finally resurfaced and I'm feeling good about myself now.

1. I left my job.
2. My car died.
3. I'm moving to Pennsylvania in May.
4. I'm in a relationship.
5. I'm severely in debt.
6. I've never been happier.

#6 seems like an oxymoron with 1-5 being such an upheaval in my life but it's true. I'm in love, my health has improved since leaving my stressful job, and I'm more sure of myself. I may be struggling money-wise but spiritually, mentally and physically, I've never been better.

Critiques

I've been writing for Examiner.com for about a month now and have 2 posts up. The comment a reader left on my second post made me want to crawl into a ball & cry:

"This article could have been longer. The writer should have gone into depth on how the weddings are instead took a shortened path and pretty much said nothing. To the author I just have to say work on it to get better. This is not something I would want to read again and I wouldn't want to read anything by this author again. She needs more detail."

Needless to say, my feelings were beyond hurt. While I never really aspired to be a professional writer, I do like to express my love for writing frequently. That comment at first depressed me, then it pissed me off, & now I am in the "I'll show you" stage. I am glad that I got a fairly honest response from a stranger. I have never blogged professionally and was afraid of it. Now I know what I should work on: length and content. Having an idea is not enough. Now I have to get it across clearly and in-depth. Knowing is half the battle.

Happy New Year!

Yay it's a new year! I figure that this year I won't do a resolutions list. I will just continue doing what I want when I get the whim for it. A few goals I do have though are:

1. Finish editing my erotic ebook.
2. Lose 30 lbs by my birthday in June.
3. Get a new car.
4. Get my passport.
5. Do a international trip.

Those are the top 5 things I want to accomplish this year.

A few of my favorite things

A few of my favorite quotes:

“I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it.” -Cameron (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

"All you need to write a song is a vendetta and guilt." - Imani Coppola

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." - Toulouse-Leutrec (Moulin Rouge film 2001)

"A man will always promise more than he can do to a woman he cannot understand." -Philippa Gregory (The White Queen)

Nanowrimo: The Hollow Victory

I finished my 1st Nanowrimo & once the taste of victory finally dissolved in my mouth, the aftertaste of dissatisfication arrived. I like my story. It has potential should I decide to pursue it. The thing is it's all over the place. Once I re-read it, I discovered it's three completely different stories.

The first story consists of a demi-goddess and her husband. The second is an X-men type adventure. The final one is a love story. It is THE most sappiest, tear-jerkiest thing I've ever penned. Where it came from, I will probably never know. My muse is cruel like that.

There's my trouble though. I have three perfectly good stories that stand alone fairly well. Will I go through with them? I don't know. My past history says no. As soon as a story disinterests me, I bail. I leave it trapped within the pages of a long-forgotten notebook on or a flash drive & that's it. Poof. Non-existant.

A few friends have made it their task to push me into trying to get published. With their determination & support and my sense of hopefulness, maybe (just maybe) we'll all see them to fruition.

Talk It Out

I will start this off by saying I'm a Gemini. (And I'm pretty sure I lost most of you here.) I'm HUGE on communication. I run my mouth a mile a minute and am damn good at it. This is not what this post is on though. This post is based on my experiences today. I've been made upset by two people I am very fond of. I won't rehash why they made me upset or the backstory of it all. Just know I'm upset but will get over it quickly.

I wanted to take this time to talk about talking. With all the social websites & blogs out there, it's very easy to forget how to talk to people in person. It's much easier (and less awkward) to just text, tweet or message someone. The problem is you lose inflection. That tweet someone thought was funny, you may take as a insult. Or the Facebook status someone wrote may seem it's directed towards you & make you feel some type of way about it.

That starts unnecessary "drama", problems, and tension. My advice is this: go talk to them if you have a problem. Let me repeat this: GO & TELL THEM!! The next time you have a problem/issue with a particular person, inform them of it.

Meet them at a neutral place (mall, coffee shop, public park) and talk. Hear them out & ask them to hear you out. Be truthful but tactful. Don't come out & curse them out. Don't screech, yell, or turn a deaf ear. Listen & digest what they say. Speak your peace.

After all is said & absorbed, if the friendship/relationship/whatever doesn't or won't work out: Walk away. Wish each other well & move on. Lingering/pining/stewing is going to do nothing for your mental health or psyche. It's going to tie you in a knot & hamper you.

Ill-wishing someone is only going to come back to you three-fold. Bashing them online only makes you look bitter, jealous & childish. It shows your insecurity & that's not a good look for anyone. So do yourself a favor: GO & TELL THEM!

---I do what I want

Wants vs Needs

I did some serious soul searching and thinking and came to the conclusion about the SITUATION: I cannot marry/be with him. I sat & discussed with close friends and it just doesn't seem like a good idea. While I may WANT to be with him, my heart can't take our whirlwind relationship. We laugh, we cry, we argue, we hurt each other. I know that's how relationships are supposed to work. The thing is when you're the only one crying/arguing/pleading, it gets real old real quick. I love him without question. I probably always will love him. It's time to put him away in the past and let him stay there. Should we meet again in the future and work out our problems for good, I'd be with him without a doubt. Seeing as he hasn't changed and I've changed too much, I sincerely doubt us.

I've told him about my decision to take him out my love life. His response: "Damn your determination makes me want you more." How am I supposed to move on when that's the same cockiness that got me?! The best I can do is ignore him and take the time to take care of me.